A very inappropriate cake (homemade white cake with flesh colored buttercream icing)

You had all my bookclub recipes last week and here is the final one.  It is dessert!  In the book we read, Eating the Cheshire Cat, one of the main characters is a "naughty baker."  As in she makes cakes like body parts for "fun" parties.  I luckily have a friend that keeps everything, and I remembered she had a penis shaped cake tin from back when we did such things for bachelorette parties.  It would be a hit at book club and go with my theme of things in the book.

I love making homemade desserts now that I have a Kitchen Aid mixer and a food blog, but I forget sometimes that I have a wonky easy bake oven that is not conducive to such endeavors.  This was one of those times when I should have just made a "regular cake".  I am also a very messy cook and you have never known that (unless you are my sister) until now.  I like to hide my flaws until I've hooked you...It's like dating!

But seriously, this recipe is easy and delicious and the perfect white cake and butter cream icing.  And if you ever wanted to know how much food coloring you needed to make perfect pasty white skin colored icing, you now do! I apologize in advance if the finished product offends you.  So don't look to the end if you know you will be.  It is a cake shaped like a dick!  Full recipe to follow.

The icing ingredients, sprinkles and food coloring optional

Butter and powdered sugar with the hand mixer, what could go wrong?
A lot could go wrong.  There's a reason why mixing bowls are so tall!
5 drops of red and 12 of yellow make the perfect skin color icing!
Here are our friends for the cake. I finally got some new baking powder!
As all good baking recipes go, cream your butter and sugar.
Add your wets and mix.
Sift together your dry ingredients.
Looks delish!  I could just lick it up!
Add to your pan.  Most times yours would be round. Here's where it gets offensive BTW.
I had some leftover so I attempted to make cupcakes!
The cupcakes did not come out so they became cake balls.  I should have dipped in chocolate, next time I will have to!
Buttercream Icing (with optional coloring) (Adapted from Food Network)

3 cups confectioners' sugar
1 cup butter
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 tablespoons whipping cream
5 drops of red food coloring and 12 drops of yellow (optional)

In a standing mixer fitted with a whisk, mix together sugar and butter. Mix on low speed until well blended and then increase speed to medium and beat for another 3 minutes.
Add vanilla and cream and continue to beat on medium speed for 1 minute more, adding more cream if needed for spreading consistency.

White Cake (adapted from All recipes)
1 cup white sugar
1/2 cup butter
2 eggs
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour (but cake flour is better)
1 3/4 teaspoons baking powder
3/4 cup milk

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease and flour a 9x9 inch pan or two small round pans.  In a medium bowl, cream together the sugar and butter. Beat in the eggs, one at a time, then stir in the vanilla. Combine flour and baking powder, add to the creamed mixture and mix well. Finally stir in the milk until batter is smooth. Pour or spoon batter into the prepared pan.  Bake for 30 to 40 minutes in the preheated oven.  Cake is done when it springs back to the touch.

Happy Cooking!


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